How to Control your Underlings Effectively'
by The Humourist
Summary: Drakken thinks that the reason behind his failures is the disobidence of his subordinates, namely Shego! With his new psychological book, he will try to change Shego into a bootlicker without the moodulator or the brainwashing shampoo...
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: All Kim Possible characters belong to Walt Disney Productions.This document is a FanFiction and should not be used without permission of the author. All Rights Reserved. WordPlay Archives, Kim Possible Collections 2005.**

**Author's Notes: First section and fanfic. Will be updated soon, andaccepting reviews:)**

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_On the first glance, one would never sense a hint of villainy emitting from all corners of the room; the lights were bright, the floor carpeted with lush-velvet and soft latex, the furniture was grand, top-quality; fitting for royalty. _

_Nonetheless, it belonged to Doctor Uber Drakken, a criminal "genius"or so he brags often. However, the décor did not fit him well, he knows himself well. He could trade all glamour and the sweet air around him now for a darker, colder, trap-rigged lair, but circumstances had forced him to think otherwise._

_His latest plot to dominate the world had failed miserably once **again**, thanks to his arch-enemy, the oh-so-youthful-and-goody-goody teen heroine, Kimberly Ann Possible and her buffoon-nic (if there was such a term) pal… whose name escapes Dr. Drakken's mind every time. Not to mention that hairless rodent they always bring along._

_His plans were going smoothly, if you discount his henchmen electrocuting themselves from tripping wires on his doomsday device. Then **they** appeared. They just had to show up and spoil his fun. Of course, he was not giving up without a fight; although he never was in any of the action himself. **Then** again, the buffoon had to trip over a wire, accidentally hitting the self-destruct mechanism after a flip or two. _

'_Why on EARTH did I have to install a self-destruct mechanism?' Dr. Drakken remembered screaming to himself at that time._

_He reminisced that moment when he escaped before the doomsday device went _**kablooey!**

_Now he is in hiding, away from his old lair, someplace where Possible and the police will **never** find him. In the posh hotel he threatened to disintegrate once because of bad service, and the entire staff moved to Las Vegas. He had been keeping the place clean for some time now, lest he needed refuge. And boy does he need it._

_Slouching on the chair he was sitting on, Dr. Drakken grouched, gripped and grumbled, upset by the countless times his plans were turned upside down like steak grilled on a barbecue._

_Perhaps it was the way he dealt with his subordinates. Perhaps it was the incompetence of those who were under him. Or perhaps it was the attitude shot at him from his underlings that threw him off balance every time. Yes, it HAD to be the reason why he was always failing!_

_He thought of Shego, his most accomplished subordinate ever. Yes, Shego's great in all-physical attributes; she is swift and is second to none when it comes down to hand-to-hand combat (with the exception of Kim Possible, of course). When dispatched for missions she always gets the job done, satisfaction guaranteed every time (with the exception of Kim Possible inclusive, yet again). She has smarts too. Way smarter than those moronic hoodlums who call themselves henchmen under Dr. Drakken. _

_But she has a smart-mouth, fully loaded with sarcasms, ready to fire whenever Drakken comes up with a plan or says something she does not like to hear. And granted, she has many things scribbled in blood red on her long hate-list._

_Furthermore, when it comes to Kim Possible, Shego hardly wins a fight. It boggles Drakken's mind; how could a cheerleader from a typical high school beat someone who is much older, and has much more spare time to sharpen her skills? The thought of that infuriated Drakken, even though he had to admit that Shego was still his best companion in his life of crime. _

_He took a sip from his cold tea to cool off… YEOW! This is hot coffee! From the slight shock he spilled the drink all over his overcoat. Ugh… what else could possibly go wrong?_

_There was..._

**to be continued...**


	2. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: All Kim Possible characters belong to Walt Disney Productions.This document is a FanFiction and should not be used without permission of the author. All Rights Reserved. WordPlay Archives, Kim Possible Collections 2005.**

**Author's Notes: Section 2's up! Comments accepted:)**

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**_At that instant, the computer monitor on Drakken's desk hummed and came to life. Before him was the face of a man, and the voice of a mouse. "Testing, testing… Is the visual there alright?" He squeaked._

"_Professor Dementor!" Drakken screamed. "What's with your voice?"_

"_Ah. That means you can see me." The man in the screen responded in his normal rough tone and glanced behind him. "Good work, my men."_

"_What are you doing in my computer? Are you here to mock me again?" Drakken moaned. This was the beginning of a classic moment between Drakken and Dementor. Dementor boasts his superiority, Drakken defends himself and argues back just like two little kids._

"_Sadly… Yes. I heard you've failed in another scheme… once again. Wahahahaha!" Dementor laughed._

"_I don't need you to add fuel to my fire! Get out!" Drakken fiddled with the controls, trying to shut Dementor out of the computer. But it was not responding as he hoped it would. "Darned buttons! I need a new keyboard!"_

"_Tsk, tsk, tsk. Drakken, Drakken, Drakken. Haven't you heard of this term called 'HACKING'?" the demented professor shook his head._

"_What?"_

"_You see, I have engineered a super-virus, so small, so undetectable that I can hack into any database without anyone noticing, then I can alter the system to **my** liking, which is to take over the mainframe completely. And that means I can do anything with your computer now, Drakken."_

"_So? What do you plan to do with this super-virus of yours, huh? Get it detected by some virus scans and removed?" Drakken countered, not wanting Dementor to gain the upper hand._

"_Heck, no. It isn't called a super-virus for nothing… although I wouldn't expect someone of YOUR intelligence to comprehend the amount of mayhem it could cause in the stock market." Dementor said._

"_WHAT? Are you calling me dumb?"_

"_So what if I am? Didn't you just blotch your latest scheme?"_

"_ARE YOU CALLING **ME** INCOMPETENT?" Drakken purpled with rage._

"_Do you need to ask? Just look at you. You couldn't get your henchmen to bring you a soda if you asked." Dementor snapped his finger, and a soda was passed to him quicker than Drakken could blink._

"_I TOO can get my henchmen to obey my every command." Drakken hissed. _

"_Prove it. Ponytail pal." Dementor said with much confidence, and took a sip from his soda._

_Drakken was really seeing red now. No one mocks my ponytail and gets away with it! My soft and well-tied ponytail! So after a little thought, he decides to bring over his best and most 'obedient' underling he could think of. That will show Dementor!_

"_SHEGO! SHEGO! COME OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!" Drakken boomed over the intercom._

_A minute or two passed. No response. Drakken fidgeted. Perhaps someone needed a second holler._

"_SHEGO! WHERE ARE YOU?"_

_Finally, a croaky voice responded through the set. "Stop shouting will you? I heard you the first time…"_

"_Shego, I need you up here right **now**!"_

_The voice in the intercom raised in tone, volume and intensity. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS? ITS FIVE MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT AND YOU HAVE THE FREAKIN' GUTS TO CALL ME RIGHT NOW? IF I WASN'T THAT TIRED I WOULD'VE..."_

_Drakken cut Shego off after climbing back up to his chair. Bad timing. Really bad timing._

"_So … as you were saying?" Dementor smirked with glee._

"_Shego's just exhausted from her last mission" Drakken said defensively._

"_But that's not what I've heard or seen." Dementor interrupted. The screen on the computer switched from Dementor's face to some… or many, many embarrassing footages when Shego ignored Drakken's simple orders out of mere defiance. Dementor could have sold that for millions in the villain's convention. "Convinced?"_

"_I swear, one day that girl will become the death of me." Drakken muttered under his breath._

"_What was that?"_

"_I said, I've been lenient on her all this while. See, she's a woman, and I can't possibly be too harsh on her. But if I tighten my leash on her, I'll have her eating out of my hand in no time." Drakken said. And those were empty words._

_Dementor raised an eyebrow out of interest. "Hmm? You seem quite certain. But I'm sure a softie like you will never be able to do that. Not in a million years!"_

"_SOFTIE? I'll have you know that I've been reading 'How to control your underlings effectively' ! I intend to put its practices into action!"_

"_HA!" Dementor snorted. "You can't even make heads or tails out of a simple map, and now you're taking advice from a book? Spare me the comedy. I've had enough laughs for today."_

"_I'm much better than what your puny eyes can see. I'll succeed, and I can bet on it!"_

"_Fine. A bet it is then. I'll give you** five** days to convert that ferocious female assistant of yours into a bootlicker, and if you miraculously succeed somehow, you can have any one of my death rays. But if you **don't **succeed, which is much more apparent, I'll have one of **your** death rays. So how about it, Dr. Drakken?" Where Dementor slurred when he said 'Dr.'_

"_Oh it's not necessary. You don't have to waste one of your death rays in a cheap bargain like that." Drakken said firmly. But he was actually unsure whether he could really get Shego to obey at all._

_She is so stubborn even a nuclear explosion could not make her move if she did not want to (exaggeration). She was her own master, and Drakken knew that well. The only thing that probably kept Shego on his line was her paycheck, and it dangles like carrot sticks really well._

"_Oh? You're chickening out? Drakken's chicken! Squawk like a chicken, my men!" Dementor's men began to dance around in the background, flapping their arms, while the noises they made barely resembled of chickens being slaughtered by electrocution._

"_Alright! Alright! I'll wager! But I'll need seven days to…"_

"_Four." Dementor said._

"_Six! Six days and I…" Drakken bargained._

"_Two."_

"_Fine! Okay! Two days! I'll get her over and done with! Happy?"_

"_Good. So two days it is then. When the time's up, I will be there personally to witness this change with my own eyes." The clock struck midnight as the alarm sounded with the chime of a church bell where Dementor was. "And THAT means you have one more day to go."_

_Drakken couldn't believe his ears. He grabbed the monitor screen and gave a stern glare at Dementor. "What? Two days doesn't include today! You cheater!"_

_Dementor laughed a wicked laugh. "I thought you knew. So I didn't bother with specifics. See, you aren't as smart as you thought yourself to be."_

"_You…!"_

"_Ah ah ah." Dementor waved a finger at Drakken. "Clock's ticking, Drakken. You don't have any time to waste… Ah yes. And one more thing; No mind-control devices of any sort now… See you really soon!"_

_After Dementor's final laugh, the computer monitor exploded, throwing Drakken off, and he did a somersault or two before he hit the bookcase behind him, and its contents fell like an avalanche upon him, turning into a heap of books._

_Emerging from the mess and with the 'How to control you underlings effectively' book in his shaking fist, Drakken screamed;_

"_CURSE YOU, DEMENTORRR!"_

**to be continued...**


	3. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: All Kim Possible characters belong to Walt Disney Productions.This document is a FanFiction and should not be used without permission of the author. All Rights Reserved. WordPlay Archives, Kim Possible Collections 2005.**

**Author's Notes: Here's section 3... if you're reading this, please review! Thanks!**

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**_The next morning:_

"_I hate Monday mornings." Shego grumbled, still half-awake._

_She rubbed her eyes and yawned as she slowly strode into the bathroom. Her skin was pale… well, paler than usual. She had a bad night of sleep, and there were two reasons for that. _

_One, she was still unhappy being defeated by Kim Possible yesterday. Every time that happened, Shego would spend the next few hours or so imagining Kim being tortured by the cruelest methods that she could think of. From chainsaw-mutilating to feather tickling… you name it, she's thought of it. That was her way of overcoming her stress after being beaten by her top adversary. _

_Two, it could be Drakken's stupid near midnight call which awoke her and those funny noises he made thereafter which could be heard at every corner of the hotel! The sounds kept her awake like those annoying neighbours who would caterwaul with their head-bobbing stereos in the middle of the night. _

_If Shego were not as bushed as she was at that moment, she would have got up, kicked open the door of Drakken's room, bound him in platinum chains, gagged him with a sponge soaked with water from the toilet bowl and leave him there to suffer for the rest of the night. 'Drakken was sure lucky I didn't' she thought to herself._

"_I hate the cold floors." Shego muttered, opening the mirror-framed cabinet above the sink._

_She came face to face with a henchman on the other side of the wall, who grinned stupidly and greeted, "Uh, good morning, Madam."_

_Shego slammed the door of the cabinet shut. "I hate shared cabinets."_

_After washing up and changing from her pyjamas into her usual green-and-black jumpsuit, she walked slowly down to the cafeteria for breakfast. "I hate daily routines."_

_In her blue funk, the size of the cafeteria failed to impress her. It was more than your average buffet. Fountains, chandeliers, automated moving trays, a garden balcony at the corner complete with a romantic view of the ocean. The exquisite cuisine from ten different nations was great, too._

_As she wasn't very hungry, Shego grabbed a plate, tossed on a couple of buns, some low-fat margarine, a small glass of milk and the latest Club Banana fashion magazine from the rack, made herself comfortable alone at a corner with her feet on the table and began to read. _

_On the other corner of the room, Drakken peered over the book he was clutching onto. _

"_There she is… all by her lonesome… a trait of a social handicap which is the result of a regulated overdose of self-reliance and boasted independence, as it says here in the book..."_

"_Solution: Stress importance of friendship among colleagues… hmm…" Drakken read aloud.  
_

_Simple enough, Drakken thought to himself. He waved for the two henchmen who just came into the room. "You two. Get over here."_

"_Now, listen up," Drakken whispered. "See Shego over there? I want you to sit beside her and engage in conversation. Got it?"_

"_Uh, uh." henchman number one said, shaking his head. "No can do boss."_

"_And why not?" Drakken snapped._

"_Cause'that's Shego, boss. I don't wanna mess with her."_

"_She scares me…" henchman number two said._

"_You are **men**, for Pete's sake!" Drakken exclaimed. " Surely you are not afraid of a woman?"_

"_That's not any woman, boss. That's Shego…"_

"_So? What's the difference?"_

"_I heard from the guys, if gives you the death stare, ubber misfortunes fall on you, man!"_

"_What…?"_

"_Dude! Seriously?"_

"_Excuse me, I…"_

"_Seriously, dude. And they like, they stay with you till your head pops like a balloon!"_

"_Please, if may I be allowed to speak…"_

"_Whoa, that's like, major bummer. Seriously. No wonder I feel strange when I see her…"_

"_WILL YOU TWO HIPPIES STOP RANTING?" Drakken boomed. That last visit from his cousin, Motor Ed, sure started a trend among the henchmen."There is no such thing as curses, and if you won't help me, I'll do this myself!"_

_Drakken marched towards the table where Shego was, with book in hand. Shego, still reading her magazine and still in a bad mood, put the reading material down, gave a chilling stare at Drakken, who stopped dead on his tracks, his eyes widened._

_Shego's stare narrowed, as she menacingly impaled the bun on the plate with a knife. The bun seemed to scream in pain, crying out mercies as she twisted the edge slowly… _

_Drakken shivered at the sight and retreated. The two henchmen looked at him._

"_Stop looking so smug. There's no such thing as curses…" Drakken scowled, storming out of the room. "I just need to use the bathroom! Seriously!"_

**to be continued...**


	4. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: All Kim Possible characters belong to Walt Disney Productions.This document is a FanFiction and should not be used without permission of the author. All Rights Reserved. WordPlay Archives, Kim Possible Collections 2005.**

**Author's Notes: I'd like to thank those who had reviewed so far... sniff I'm so happy... Anyway, I'd like more people to give their two cents, so that I can improve...

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_-Later:_

_"Okay… that didn't work…" Drakken mumbled, browsing the pages of his 'How to control your underlings effectively' book._

_"…Ah, 'a true leader is able to get those under him to obey, however, in most situations, there will always be a rebel who reluctantly cooperates or does not at all'…"_

_"Solution: Be more assertive. Express why certain things have to be done, regardless of how unimportant it may seem." He said, stepping out of the bathroom._

_The door to his room opened, and Shego entered his room. It was a mess, books scattered on the ground, broken glass and a blackened desk with computer parts strewn all over._

_"What happened here?" Shego said. "Another one of your crazy inventions blew up?"_

_**Sarcasms, rebel. Right**… "Never you mind, Shego! I've been very busy."_

_"So… What's so important that you had to call me in the middle of the night?"_

_**Be assertive**… "It WAS important! If you came up here, this room wouldn't be such a sorry sight! And what I **was** doing would still be important! Thanks to you, it's now gone, **passé, HISTORY**!"_

_"So it's **my** fault now?" Shego said, her arms folded. "Puhleze. How important could it be? None of your '**brilliant'** plans work anyway."_

"_None, you say?" Drakken said. "Remember the time when I…" He froze._

"_Go on…" Shego sneered._

"_Uh…" Drakken pondered. "Ah ha! What about… No, not that one… hmm… Well, that one **almost** worked…"_

"_I rest my case."_

_Drakken gripped. "Okay, so maybe **none** of my plans work so far, but one day, for sure, I'll come up with an idea so diabolical, even that Kim Possible will not be able to stop me!"_

"_Golly gee, I can't wait." Shego waved her hand in a circle, faking enthusiasm. How many times had Drakken played this tune? She lost count._

"_But of course," Drakken added, turning his gaze on Shego. "I need some good breathing space for me to think of a scheme… and this disaster area wouldn't cut for decency, as you can see for yourself…"_

"_Your point?" Shego raised an eyebrow._

"_I want** you** to give this room a little sprucing up." Drakken said, forcing an apron and a broom into Shego's hand. "By the time I return, I expect this room to sparkle."_

"_Hey, hey, hey. Hold on a minute here." Shego said. "Did you just tell **me** to** clean** this room?" _

"_Yes, I certainly did." Drakken smiled, pleased with his assertive approach._

"_Ahem!_ _I am so** not **doing this!" Shego said, throwing the apron and the broom aside. "My contract says I am the second-in-command here, not a sidekick, not an assistant, not some regular henchperson!" The duo said in unison._

"_Much less a maid!" Shego added sternly._

"_You overlooked one minor detail, Shego," Drakken grinned. "Your contract says **nothing** about refusing housekeeping orders from higher authority, which in this case, is me."_

_Shego made a sour face and scowled. "You've got so many guys available down there, why me?"_

"_Since you're already here, why bother calling them? I want this room to sparkle_ _and I want **you **to do it."_

_Drakken left the room before Shego could protest. He rubbed his hands with glee. _

"_The advice is working! Being more assertive does help! Dementor will not be the best of me this time!" Drakken said to himself._

_The fire alarm sounded before he could wallow any further, and within seconds, two henchmen armed with a hose rushed past Drakken in the opposite direction, tripping him up with the tubing of the hose._

"_What's going on now?" Drakken mumbled, face flat on the ground._

_Following the two henchmen, Drakken was directed to the room which Shego was supposed to clean… if it wasn't on fire right now. The two henchmen turned on the hose and began to put out the fire, with Shego watching by the side._

"_Shego!" Drakken gasped, gawking blankly at the fire, jaw dropping. "What in blazes happened here?"_

"_That microwave in your room sprang a leak."_

"_What are you talking about? Microwaves don't leak! …Do they?"_

"_Well, they do now." Shego shrugged._

"_Wait a minute…" Drakken turned to Shego. "Did you have anything to do with this?"_

"_You think?"_

"_Shego! You did this! Why, I ought to…"_

"_Hey,_ _You wanted the room to sparkle, didn 't you?"_

"_WHY…! I…! YOU…!"_

"_Geez, people just don 't appreciate you these days..." Shego exclaimed, leaving the corridor._

"_SHEEEGOOOOOO!" Drakken howled, seeming as if he was about to cry._

"_If mommy found out that her __favourite_ _photo's now a pile of dust, she'll kill me…" _

**to be continued...**


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